Extract (2009)

February 5, 2010

To be honest I am not really sure what I was expecting from this movie.  For the most part we got it in via Netflix for a specific actor’s cameo (which was enjoyable though brief).  I have to say I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.  That being said though I don’t think I will be going out of my way to see it again.  Here is the reason why.

The story was really pretty lame and nothing I have not seen before.  It did have a few unique twists on some situations but for the most part is was mildly amusing with only a few out loud chuckles (one of which was a huge payoff involving a really annoying neighbor.)


I just realized that I can not remember the main character’s name.  What does that say about the movie?

Anyway this dude played by Jason Bateman owns an extract company which in a brief explanation tells us that it is used in cooking.  Weird but I can live with it.  His marriage sucks and he is unhappy with his life and thinking about selling his business.  Before he can however there is a cringe inducing accident which involves detached testes.  Fortunately the injured employee is more than happy to settle with the insurance company until a young pretty scam artist (played by Mila Kunis) hears about his injury and convinces him to sue for more.

Unfortunately she is cute and flirts with our hero and he is very interested in pursuing more but does not feel right cheating on his wife, until his screwed up bartender friend convinces him to hire someone to try to seduce his wife.  If she refuses all is good and if she sleeps with him then he will be morally free to pursue the cutie at work.  He agrees to this decision (with help of some horse tranquilzers) and we are introduced to the dumbest man whore since Deuce Bigalow.

Needless to say this plan works (about fifteen times) and he feels quite different about it than he thought he would.

I won’t give away any more as this gives you an idea of how the movie pretty much goes.

The movie wasn’t a complete waste of time but like I said above it was nothing special.  This definitely falls under the cable rating which means don’t waste money renting it but it’s worth watching for free.

If you agree or disagree please leave a comment.

I was also going to review Public Enemy but i fell asleep in the middle of it.  Not sure if it was because it was boring or I was tired so will try again and let you know.


The Goods (2009)

January 29, 2010

Today we are going to talk about The Goods (2009) courtesy of Netflix.

Let me state up front that this movie tanked on the big screen, and I can see why. Unless you have either sold cars or been a customer at one of those wonderful tent sales that used car dealerships have all the time. I have been on the selling side of one of these madhouses and this movie made me laugh because it was true, well mostly true. I never saw any dildos falling out of the sky or alligators roaming the lot but still a madhouse.

Jeremy Piven plays Don “The Goods” Ready who is what car dealers call a mercenary. His job is basically to come into a struggling dealership to hold a massive sale complete with media blitz and his own sales team. The upside to this is it sells cars. The downside is after the mercs have ripped off all your customers they leave town with their commission which should have been to local salesmans who has to deal with all the fallout.

Ok, tangent over. Don has an established team that travels fifty one weeks a year around the country doing these sales. His latest job is in wonderful Temecula, California. What starts out as a regular job somehow turns into a mission to save the dealership by selling all 214 cars on the lot. This plot has so many holes you could, well, drive a car through it. The sophomoric humor is good for quite a few laughs but for those of you over the age of sixteen you will probably get tired of it a little over half way in.

For myself I would watch it again because of my experience in car sales but if I didn’t have that this would rate between cable and a spoon. If you have no idea what that means shame on you and read the first blog I wrote (Julie & Julia) for what my weird ratings mean.

See you in a few days with another movie.

Julie & Julia (2009)

January 27, 2010

Ok, since this is my first blog let me tell you what I am planning on doing.  My goal here is to give my purely objective viewpoint on films I am watching.  Doesn’t matter if it is in a theater, on dvd, or edited tv.  If I am watching it you will read my opinion on it.  If I am forced to watch it by someone else it will probably not be good (unless there is nudity…..ummmm….let me clarify, female nudity).   That being said it will probabll come as a surprise that the first film being reviewed is Julie & Julia.  There is a reason for this and we will get there shortly.

I also plan to include the posters of the films but that will come later as I figure this all out.  tried to include it here and it was freaking huge.  I mean Meryl Streep scared the crap out of me like she was threatening me to write a good review.  I thought I should spare you all that and will put them in when I figure out what I am doing.

On to the movie.

All I knew going into this was Julia Child was a female chef with a cookbook and it was getting a lot of Oscar buzz.  Since Netflix is unlimited movies I figured that if it sucked I wasn’t even out a stamp, just a couple hours of my time.

It is a true chick flick, which is not a bad thing, so don’t expect car chases or fist fights.  The closest we come to that is someone crying because she is getting divorced.  The story however was actually rather compelling if one knows nothing about the two main women.  Julia of course was breaking the gender wall proving herself to the chefs of France and trying to publish a cookbook while Julie is pretty much a modern mess who does not know what to do with her life and for some reason doesn’t really seem to appreciate the pretty supportive husband she has.

Lets start with Julia shall we.  If the portrayal is true to her character she is almost too good to be true in the past though she seemed like a bitch in the present.  Understanding of everything put in front of her.  Not a mean word to anyone no matter how they behaved and yet she strove to her goals not letting anyone stop her.  Basically put she was the perfect role model for any girl.  The problem with her story was that, like in Titanic, we already know the ending so it takes a good amount of the drama out of it.  It was like a picture in a coloring book.  we know what it looks like but the movie just colors it in and gives us the details.

Julie’s story was more interesting to me mostly because I had absolutely no idea who she was.  Because of this fact I did not know where her story was going which made it more enjoyable.  Amy Adams did a great job on this character, however I have a small crush on her so I might be biased.  There were times when I wanted to cheer her and times I wanted to shake her during her little breakdowns.  I actually caught myself gasping when she fell asleep and her stew burned.  (note to self reapply for man card tomorrow)

The moment that stood out to me the most when Julie was told that Julia found her blog disrespectful  without knowing if she had read or not.  My thought there was “What a bitch.”  and it really did bug me that this was not explored further but if that is real to life then so be it.

As to why this was the first movie I reviewed it was mostly because of the blogging theme in the movie.  I decided why not give it a try, so you can blame this movie for my little experiment.

I suppose i should rank my movies somehow so how about this.

Own it = something I really like

Rent it = worth spending money on one or two viewings

Cable = worth watching fro free and thats about it

Spoon = as in gouge out eyes with because of the horror I have just witnessed

Julie & Julia is a renter.

See you soon with more blather.